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It’s been more than a month now since I last written anything here. And I just don’t know if I can find the heart to write again. Sometimes I feel that there’s nothing I can contribute. And that’s how I feel right now.

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Ok, so I know that it’s been a long time since I’ve blog. But if there’s one thing that has been on my mind lately, it’s this — love languages.

I remember reading up on this back in college, but I never really thought about it till now.

So what exactly is a love language? Well, I’m going to share what I’ve understood from what I’ve read. First of all, a love language is the way a person shows his/her love to another person. This love language cuts across any culture and a person may exhibit all of the love languages, but may be stronger in other love languages than in others. That said, there are five love languages that have been identified.

1. Acts of Service

A person with this love language will not hesitate to volunteer to help a friend.

2. Physical Touch

People who have this primary love language are people who are very tactile and love hugging people, embracing them and holding hands.

3. Words of Affirmation

Men and Women with the ability to give positive words of encouragement fall under this love language.

4. Quality Time

Quantity begets quality and this is so true with those who long for quality time. A friend who may have this love language wouldn’t mind spending time with one’s friend the entire day and still long for that person even after parting ways.

5. Gifts

Probably among the easiest to emulate and yet some find it tough, there are people who enjoy receiving gifts and lavishing others with gifts as well.,

Now, as I mentioned earlier a person may exhibit all love languages but will usually be strong in one or two and be weak in other categories. And from what I’ve understood, it seems that the conflict in friendships and even relationships is that when one party expects the other to understand them and they don’t get what they want. This is all so common. Yet often, people do not understand that sometimes one’s love language gets in the way in becoming closer to each other. For example, in a married relationship the wife’s main love language is Acts of Service and yet the husband’s primary love language is Physical Touch.

No matter how many Acts of Service the wife performs for her husband, the husband may end up feeling rejected and lonely in the relationship. It gets more complicated because men tend not to verbalize their needs. Unless the wife becomes more sensitive to the husband’s needs and love language, then the wife may only make things worse for both of them.  For it is usually the one’s primary love language that we relate to others and wish for others to relate to us.

I am speaking for myself here too.

For instance, lately I’ve been meeting new friends and acquaintances and no matter how much fun we had outside, I still feel isolated and still feel “unloved”. Then I realize that one of my primary love languages include Words of Affirtmation, Quality Time and Physical Touch.  In fact, I can remember a person’s embrace, the scent of their perfume that lingers on my shirt when I embrace a friend and the way my heart soars like an eagle when one’s hug is reciprocated. I can survive a year with just one compliment. In fact, I’ve lived off words of encouragement for many years and still return to those words that echo into the eternity of my soul. And whenever I go out with friends, as much as possible I don’t want to conversation to end and I don’t want them to hurry up.

But I must be realistic in the end that people have their own lives to live and that we aren’t a tv sitcom like Friends or Sex in the City who portray characters who seem to have too much time on their hands for them to think about sex and to think about having it. No, life is more complicated than that and people will always disappoint us in ways that even surprises us.

So what am I trying to rant here? Well, I’m glad that I’ve finally identified my primary love languages. I realize that others might never appreciate the things that I give them. And there will be times when I have to learn how to practice the other love languages. But at the end of the day, I discovered that loving a person is indeed worth it, even though there are times when a person might seem difficult to love. I cannot simply insist that my love language would always communicate to another person positively. For in the end, “to love another person is to see the face of God.” Thanks Jose for the reminder. Indeed, though love is tough at times, if love will give me a chance to see God’s face again then I am willing to love again and again.

Last saturday I was invited by Enigma for a night out. I had to do some last minute shopping because I was wearing a plain shirt that day and we were going to Martinis, one of the latest bars located in Mandarin Oriental Manila. Good thing there are lots of sale items this time of the year, so I was able to grab a nice polo shirt. I don’t want to look underdressed or over-dressed either.

Lychee and Muddy

It was my first time to drink a martini! And this was the first two glasses. The light colored one is called Lychee and the other one is called Muddy. They both taste great! No wonder this is James Bond favorite drink! Shaken, not stirred dahlings!!!

Enigma and friend

Here’s my friend Enigma and the Donna of Martinis. She happens to be the PR of the place. Enigma is toasting a glass of Voodoo. Ohhh!!! I wonder what elixir is in that concoction?

Chocolate Chili

This one is Martinis bestseller! It’s called the Chocolate Chili! One sip gives you a taste of the sweetness of chocolate, while the chili flavor starts kicking in once it gets past the tongue and into the tonsils and into the esophagus and one can feel the burning sensation slowly trickling down into one’s stomach giving one a tingly sensation that I simply can’t explain.

Fanatical

Ah, but my favorite drink is the one I am holding here, which has lots of leaves in it! Totally fit for a vegetarian like me! This one’s called the Manileno. I wonder why, though?

Anyway, I will be uploading other pics later. This will have to suffice for now. Till then, I am waiting for the rain outside to stop so that I can go out and play….

After four months I am now happy to announce that I finally managed to get a job! Remember that “power interview” that I mentioned in one of my earlier entries? Well, I finally got the job. Whew! I’m really happy about it because it is a writing job. And yes, it is a call center job. Among the things that I like about it is that there is room for flexibility in terms of schedule of work. As long as I put in nine hours of work per day and that there’s no meeting that I’m required to attend to, then I can work at basically within the general work hours of most of the call center. General work hours refers to the other departments aside from the actual call center operations.

Other than that, I am glad that I would be able to start work again. It feels great to land on a job again! Alas, I won’t be able to take that trip to Bangkok. I have to forfeit my roundtrip tickets because I would still be in probationary period during that time. Oh well. So be it. Anyway, this is for the best. I believe in my heart that this job is meant for me because I truly prayed and asked God that I would accept a job offer if it is something regular and offers a routine. The school that I applied for didn’t offer me a regular job at all, but a part time job. Which was strange. Ergo, I don’t think that was meant for me. Also, almost ALL of my friends have discouraged me to pursue it. They didn’t agree with it and thought that I wouldn’t last long there either.

So that’s about it. Now if only I could get to blog more on other than my search for work…..

I went to Market! Market! for a job interview for a technical writer position. During the interview I was only asked one question — describe myself. I then proceeded to tell him that I am a vegetarian and that I’ve always had a passion for writing. There was actually a follow up question about why Library Science? I then proceeded to tell him that my parents did not want me to pursue writing as a career and then my story moved into how I got the biggest break in writing. After that, the Canadian who interviewed me described the nature of the job and then asked if I have any question. Then he escorted me out. I found out there are only two of us shortlisted for the position, and that the guy would make up his mind in about two weeks on who would become his personal technical writer.

Wow. That interview went fast. So fast that I feel bewildered right now. Did I do something wrong? Was I overbearing or did I come across too strong? What? It can’t be that fast. Or perhaps the human resources people really sifted thru all the different applications and decided that there are only two people who are qualified to be in the position.

Whatever the case may be, I then got  a text message from a school that I was applying for. They informed me that there’s a possible part time writing job for me there. I have yet to ascertain the details of the job. Furthermore, I have yet to determine what I am going to do as well about it.

If you ask me, I am really much more interested in the technical writer position of the call center because it offers the most challenge for me and also offers enough independence to work on my own. And that’s something that I want in a job as well. Besides, it’s still a daytime job and I still want a daytime job, as oppose to a graveyard shift work. It has a graveyard shift component but then it isn’t a regular thing.

So there you have it. I have two weeks to think about one job and two weeks to wait for another. Patience is a virtue that I need to practice right now. Waiting on God is another thing as well. Whatever happens, I do hope that I would be making the best decision in my career.

Today’s already Tuesday. I celebrate each day’s change at the strike of the digital clock on my laptop while my fingers caress the keyboard playfully into a symphony of its own. And though I am grateful for each passing moment, I also dread the fact that I am slowly winding down in a pit of despair as my finances are being washed away by the sands of time. It’s not easy not having a regular job or project for the past four months. It’s tough making through each week not knowing where would the next meal come from? I suddenly feel as if I am warped back into my college days in which I only have my faith in God to anchor me at times like these.

I guess people who depend on God never really graduate from such a situation as total dependence. There’s always that element of faith. An element of trusting in the unknown. And it is that element that is keeping me sane and reminding me that there is good reason to live, to love and to give love in return.

My only wish right now is that before I turn into 29 in three weeks time, I would at least have a new job. That’s all I ask right now. I have so many desires, longings and things that I wish to proclaim out loud. Yet for now, I must remain silent about such things. I must be sober enough and also smile and remind myself that these trials will also come to pass like the rains. So like my blog’s title, I will continue to go where the rain stops and where the rainbow begins to shine.

Guess what? I have a job interview for a call center this coming Tuesday! I am actually excited about the prospect of having a job. But the prospect of working for a call center? Hmm, I don’t know. I have mixed feelings about it really. Anyway, after four months, they finally called me up. I was even surprised that the human resource people of the call center that called me up mentioned that the person who pulled out my file was among the top managers of the center. Hmm, should I be happy about it? For one thing, I was trying to read between the lines. Is it possible that the HR people didn’t go through my c.v? How come it takes a foreigner to pull out my file and ask them to call me up? In fact, the person who would be interviewing me isn’t part of HR but the manager who actually pulled out my file.

Well, all I know is that I am looking forward to the interview and also looking forward to the said event. I have still yet to receive any call from the other companies that I applied for. That’s life. I am just glad that I am still alive.

Okay, tonight’s one of the busiest night’s I’ve had in weeks and that’s not an understatement. For the first time in two years, my two mobile phones were ringing left and right, and there were important text messages coming through for possible work and even for job interviews. On top of that, I was also online having a video conference and online conference with an on going client of mine.

So yes, I do feel like a call center, going through secure web servers, webmails and also wearing this headset with a microphone. Is this a sign of things to come? Truth is, I did apply to a few call centers since there are several openings for a technical writer.

Anyway, the weather is really freaky. I swallowed up the walkway like morning coffee while meeting up with Constipated Diva near Greenbelt. We had breakfast together as I brought my four mushroom pesto pasta, apple juice and some vitamins and minerals. I’m glad Diva enjoyed the breakfast. On my part, I was inducted to the wonderful world of Ellen Digeneres? Did I get her name right? I hope so since I don’t want to look it up in Google at the moment.

I was laughing so hard every few minutes! She’s absolutely hilarious! Why? I’ve never laughed this hard for a morning talk show. And I love the way she dances! Man! She can really move that booty!

Aside from the tv show, I went around Makati and visited a few friends in their offices and brought them food. I’ve been in such a good mood lately, that I’ve been able to spend more time reading the Bible again, and also really pray for other people. I know that sounds strange to most people, but spirituality and knowing God is very important to me. And that’s something I don’t mind stressing again and again here in my blog.

So what did praying for others achieve? I don’t know. I would have to ask the people I pray for. There are others that I don’t even manage to tell them about it. I just hope that somehow God bestows spiritual enlightenment and blessings on their lives. That’s all. As for me, praying for others shifts the focus from me and makes me think of other people and their needs. When I think about them, and pray for them, I become less self conscious.

I’ve learned to laugh again, and I do mean laugh hard and smile more often. The pain is still there, of losing loved ones yes — but it doesn’t sting anymore or as deeply as it did the first time around. I hope I’ve not become emotionally dense. I hope that I am just learning to develop more strength to face life with gusto…….

It started raining in the metro a few days ago. And like the coming of the storm the first sign of the rain are dragonflies and ants that fly. I’m not familiar with the English name but here in the Philippines we call these things gamu-gamo. Their lives are short-lived, spanning only a few hours for most and they hover around light bulbs busy dancing around in circles as if they were worshiping the light that radiates within it. Then comes the rain, in small batches and sometimes in a torrent. How strange that these days people associate torrents as something downloadable. Ahh, the wonders of language. How I miss just trying to grapple the definition of words.

Speaking of words, a friend of mine will come over this coming saturday. She asked me to teach her how to cook tuna pasta. Wow! First time anybody actually asked for my recipe! I asked her if it’s okay to invite other friends as well. So this Saturday we’re going to have a cook fest at home! What was interesting is that she asked me for directions to my house. I used the word “perpendicular” to describe a street that is near my house which is near a major highway. I find this amazing because I don’t think I use this word regularly, not even in giving directions. In fact, from what I remember it has been five years since I used this word.

So the rain is here again and there are puddles of mud all over the place. In some areas of Makati, the rain causes a miniature flood which reminds me of Noah’s ark as one waits for a taxi or other vehicle that would traverse such murky waters that mix the dirt, grime and whatever else one could come up with that spill over from the hidden recesses of drainage pipes. Ah, I wonder how other cities in the world fare against Manila in light of this? For now though, I would either need to embrace the rains or fight against it. And yet at the end of the day, I remain…. and I will continue to go where the rain stops … a place where one is not just on higher ground,  but I think there are moments when time just stands still in that place of calm.